


rewind

by melodious (pen_light)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, BUT WAIT FOR IT, Dream Knight Au, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, i promise there is a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 22:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7731547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pen_light/pseuds/melodious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>***SEQUEL TO LOST ***</p><p>if you had the chance to change one thing in the past</p><p>                                                would you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. timer set up

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to rewind
> 
> it is a SEQUEL so plz make sure you have read the first book which is LOST
> 
> and
> 
> well
> 
> enjoy

Justice.

It was a poisonous drug.

Its symptoms can be labeled as hallucinations, urges to prove the bad side wrong, and its lurking precense that loomed over the villain of the scenario.

Yet, after the euphonious effect, in the end, one thing was for certain.

It didn't exist.

No matter how much you try, you will not find it.

It's impossible to do so when the simple fact doesn't exist.

And that's exactly what happened to the six shattered boys that particular night.

It was Jaebum who had found Youngjae on the bridge, hanging ever so delicately over the ledge, the golden embrace of the charm already stealing him away from Jaebum.

It was Jaebum's cry that had rung out through the universe with the bright shimmering wave that washed through the large space at the same time.

It was Jaebum who spent hours on hours swimming in the river, desperately trying to search for his lost love.

It was Jaebum and boys, who in the end, failed. The body wasn't found, and how could it? Once a guardian touches water, their physical form dissipates. Only in Youngjae's case, the induced human guardian, his body had vanished forever.

The funeral was grim, short, and small. While a hard part was explaining Youngjae's death, the most difficult time of that day was the lowering of the momentary casket that was to represent the actual dead body of the singer.

The boys could barely contain themselves as they but back hard, body racking sobs.

Youngjae hadn't deserved this.

He hadn't deserved any of the crap thrown at his way.

In fact, what Youngjae did deserve, was the world.

But then again, justice didn't exist now, did it?

Kwon was simply jailed for a short amount of time for attacking his brother and secretly sponsoring medical test without proper permission. In less than a few years, this devil would be free to roam the streets without a care about Youngjae's death.

And that was it.

That's all that the guardians could've done in their situation without exploiting and threatening the balance of the universe by revealing the fourth world to the greedy, bloodthirsty humans. Kwon was merely a small example of all that could happen if the whole world knew about the supernatural.

It wasn't fair.

It simply wasn't.

But what more could the guys do besides continues with their lives.

They could immortalize Youngjae, keeping his fire lit by working towards causes inspired by the pure boy and his values.

And that's just what they did.

GOT came back a few months later with the most heart breaking, heart wrenching album ever, their focus on those suffering by the hells that their inner demons had locked them in. GOT wrote their songs in such ways where the fallen generation could stand up, confidence brewing steamy like, and fight for themselves. The album was meant to free and save their listeners.

And thankfully, it was extremely successful, and to forget their achievements, GOT sponsored groups working for the causes they wrote about, stirring up a whole movement itself.

Meanwhile, Mark and Jackson trained hard, say and night, until they earned the names of top agents in the world. Their goal? To protect those who can't protect themselves. To scour for the creeps like Kwon in hiding and to eliminate their plans once and for all. They became the defenders, the saviors that they needed to be at that night. As long as lives were being saved, the Markson duo had found their peace in their piece of Youngjae's legacy.

That left the hard headed leader, Jaebum.

He took Youngjae's death the hardest.

Falling into a depressive mode, the man spent his days trying to get drunk, hazy, anything to rip his mind away from the sight of Youngjae falling without any restriction into the black cavern.

Strangely nothing worked.

The other boys visited him often, trying to get him to do something, trying to save Jaebum from himself. 

It was useless. Jaebum may have ended up becoming a children's music teacher to honor Youngjae, but he was still in pieces.

He was still waiting for that so called justice to come and make things right.

As time clicked by, the wait grew even longer.

Nothing happened.

Jaebum's condition got worse.

Youngjae's fifth death anniversary was coming up in about five days.

Jaebum was tired of waiting.

He was tired of waiting for what would never come.

There was no way to set things right.

No justice.

In five days, Youngjae's death would be remembered again officially with the group after a whole another year.

In five days, it would be five years.

Jaebum was absolutely not okay.

 


	2. 0:15

 

Drip drop.

One by one the droplets fell from the round figure of the glass bottle into the open, expectant mouth beneath it.

Clink clank.

One by one the bottles fell from the throw of the strong, trembling hands into the pile of its kind, all open, and all empty.

In and out.

One by one the breaths of the man on the bed began to slow, transitioning him into a state of haze and blur, the alcohol working its way through his bloodstream.

Numb.

That's what Jaebum was aiming for.

That's what Jaebum felt.

Drunken words were sober thoughts.

Nothing was said.

Nothing was thought.

And this concluded the daily regimen of Im Jaebum.

For him, the day would start with the familiar hangover, symptoms ineffective, as over time he had become immune, resistant to the nausea and headaches.

He'd work by the clock, robotically eating breakfast, washing up before leaving his shabby apartment to leave for the primary school, where he taught young ones the art of music. With nothing to occupy himself, all the grading and teacher responsibilities would mostly be completed by the time the school day would end.

A lot of the times, Jaebum would find himself walking around town aimlessly, stuck on a bus that traveled around the city with no end. Or he'd be hidden away in the woods behind the park, surrounded by nature, the tall dark trees looming over him like practically everything really did.

Jaebum had nothing.

A lot of the times, he wouldn't think but stare, stare at the smallest thing like a rock by the edge, and suddenly, as if the universe hadn't already made him suffer enough, he'd recall the most minute memory, one that probably should have been stored as short term, but apparently everything that dealt with _him_ was packed away as long term.

A lot of the times, Jaebum would find himself remembering the little things that made _him_ perfect, that made _him_ the one, that made _him_ Jaebum's love.

A lot of the times, Jaebum would think aimlessly about things such as that open mouthed laugh that took up _his_ entire face, the booming sound that would erupt because of some dumb joke Jackson had said, or some dumb thing Mark had done, or some lame attempt Jaebum had made unintentionally in an attempt to show affection. Heck, the kid could have been looking at a bee in a flower and he'd fall back in laughter, having to hold onto Jaebum for his dear life as he calmed down from his haze of whatever happy little pill he was on.

And all of the times, Jaebum would be wearing this certain ghost smile on his lips, content because whenever _he_ was happy, Jaebum was happy. Even if the world could've been ending, as long as _he_ was still smiling, Jaebum would have no care about anything at all but _him_.

And all of the times, the tear tracks on his cheeks would lead him down the darkest path, snatching Jaebum away from the comfort and warmth of the memories to the unjust fact that _he_ wasn't there to make Jaebum happy again, _he_ wasn't there to laugh uncontrollably, that—that _he_ was gone.

Youngjae was gone.

And it was a cycle driven by a forsaken force that loved to make him suffer. It was a never ending wreathe whose thorns would never blunt, never break, scarring Jaebum over and over again, as if once was never enough.

Never was it enough.

Youngjae was gone.

And in a few days, he would be gone for exactly 5 years.

5 years of torture and loneliness.

Jaebum had withstood it for five years.

Another drink, he needed another drink. Reaching over his bed to the mini fridge where all his bottles were stashed, movements sluggish, he took that one more drink, popping it open and downing it gulp by gulp.

Good, good. 

More, more.

Now we can continue.

Jinyoung had visited him that day, finding the former leader guardian in the back of the bus that led to downtown.

"Jaebum-hyung," The idol removed his hood, keeping his mask on. "How are you?"

Jaebum gave him an indifferent side look. Jinyoung knew very well 'how' Jaebum was.

Feeling that the other would make no effort in continuing the conversation, Jinyoung sighed, readjusting himself so that he could lean back, relax himself in the seat right next to the ghost of a man, before initiating any means of communication.

"Hyung, you know what's coming up, right?"

Jaebum knew. They did it every year. On the day of _his_ death all six of them would gather, to pay their respects, each member of the group silently remembering the reason they took the path they took. They would stop and let it all out, whatever it was, as if being together would bring them comfort. Sure, for the others, it did. The night would end with a dinner, each member renewing their pact, their vow they had made, to protect those who couldn't protect themselves, to help those who couldn't escape their hells, and to—

It never worked for Jaebum. While Bambam and Yugyeom would cry it out quietly, in each other's arms, Jackson and Mark would brood in anger at whether it be at themselves or other reasons, they would sit alone, faces dark until that moment they were together.

It never worked for Jaebum.

Jinyoung knew that. He was highly aware of that.

For while the others mourned about what was lost, Jinyoung worried terribly about losing another.

This happened every year.

Days before the meeting, Jinyoung would come by Jaebum's side, asking the same question, even if the words were the same old, same old generic words everyone would ask him, through Jinyoung, they were filled with a different meaning, a different message.

"Are you okay?" _You're going to stay, right?_

Every time it was asked.

Every time it was ignored.

Every time Jaebum stayed.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum's low voice startled the other, the first response he had gotten in this scenario ever from the other. "You ask this every time."

Jinyoung took in a breath. "I have to."

"For me or for you?"

And the masked raven shut his eyes at the comment, at the lack of emotion, at the lack of anything that was Jaebum. "Hyung, why does it matter?"

The brunette looked away from Jinyoung's sad stare, eyes casted down, a look of defeat on the features of the heavily guarded man.

"Hyung, please. Tell me you won't do it," Jinyoung pleaded softly once he got no reply. "Please, don't."

Jaebum blinked his dry eyes. Glancing at Jinyoung, he locked gazes with the other.

Every year it happened.

Every year he would tell Jinyoung the same thing.

"I'll see you then." _I'll be there with you guys. I'll stay._

And every year Jinyoung would believe him, eyes still heavy with sorrow, always following him when the meet up would finally arrive from its hiding spot behind the corner of the alley.

It was easy.

Too easy.

Yet, Jaebum fell for it every time, without a single thought.

But it got harder every year.

It just did.

And there was nothing to it.

Jaebum's head tipped back, the rest of the alcohol seeping down into his mouth, the drops falling one by one, the bottles falling one by one, and with the breaths that kept Jaebum staying, the circle would continue endlessly.

But this time, this day, it broke.

The drops fell, but the bottle broke.

And the breaths were all let out.

No remorse, no misery, no anything.

And at that moment, drunken words were said, sober thoughts revealed.

Jaebum had had enough.

This time he wouldn't suffer.

 

 

"I'll do it." 

 

 


	3. 0:30

 

It was one more day closer to the get together.

It was one more day closer to Jaebum's escape.

It was one more day gone, for more days to come.

And Jaebum was caught up in his plights, his misery, and his anticipation.

It was going to come, it was going to happen. But before it did, he was going to have to take care of a few tasks. He was going to have to wipe away the mess he had made, have to trace back his steps and reestablish them in a way that would leave no mark behind.

Jaebum was going on a one man journey that had no space for any passengers, even if they were his close, loved friends.

At night, at night this all would be easier, he presumed. At night, with the bottles, it would all be simpler. No emotions, no fuss.

Pleased in his plan, Jaebum strolled through the city, instead of hiding away in the bodies of tall, skinny, about to snap trees, he sat down on a bench in the far end of the park, one where the area was silent and free of people, one where few people would come to gaze longingly at the river in the distance from a top view. The far picture would give the effect of the individual being much more large compared to the slim body of water.

Jaebum took in a large breath of the crisp, fresh air, a warm cloud of fog being emitted when he released the intake.

The natural elements circulated through his body, the wind around him feeling like small whisps and Jaebum melted into the atmosphere, feeling at peace, one with the air.

As he did so, an old, frail lady made her way up to the bench, taking a seat on the other end. Her floral head piece swayed in the wind as she watched with a soft expression at the man. And she kept watching, wandering eyes closely observing Jaebum's state.

The other was too engrossed to even notice her presence until she spoke out, breaking the sacred glass of air that seemed to shield him.

"Searching for someone?"

Completely taken off guard, Jaebum's eyes shot open, directly looking at the woman who was still staring at him with the same expression. Having not heard the question, he wore the emotion of confusion.

"Are you searching for someone?" She repeated slowly, tone gentle.

Jaebum gazed into the complete black irises. Nothingness reflected back at him, and he saw himself in the lady before him. He unusually deflated instantly, a sigh falling from his lips, a hand brush to his hair, and a look back at the river.

"Waiting." His words were heavy.

She nodded slowly, a knowing expression playing on her face.

"Is it someone special?"

"I've been waiting for almost five years," Jaebum replied curtly.

Silence fell between the two, each person lost in their sorrows.

"Some things happen for a reason," She began, a stare fixated at the ground ahead of the bench.

Jaebum's eyebrows quirked. Nothing hasn't heard before.

"The course of love never did run smooth," She continued.

Jaebum smiled slightly. "Shakespeare?"

"I'm guessing you're familiar. Have you noticed the consequence of power?"

How could he not?

"Catastrophic," She kept on talking, Jaebum not seeming to understand the direction of the conversation. "Corruption. Chaos. What more can I say?"

"You seemed to have gotten the gist of it," Jaebum hummed.

The elder shook her head in amusement. "Yes, well, I've witnessed it enough times already."

Frowning, the man once glanced at the female through his peripheral view for a moment.

"What about you?"

The lady exhaled slowly.

"I tend to forget about those who I love. And, when I remember, it's always too late."

Jaebum shut his eyes.

"I'm sorry," He let out, voice low and quiet.

"Me too." A whistling gust of wind followed. "It makes it feel like everything was never meant to be, right? Like that star you adored wasn't actually yours, yet now that it's gone, you still long for it dearly."

No reply. Jaebum was aware about this too much.

"Stars fall. And maybe one day that shooting star will fall to you. All you have to do is watch it be on its own, from the distance, as you can do."

A screeching siren filled the space in the one sided conversation, the lady suddenly stopping and turning to the area from where the sound came.

Just as Jaebum was about to ask if she was okay, thinking that the sirens had triggered a response from her experiences, the woman beat him to it.

"Everything happens for a reason. I'm still searching for my reason," She looked sadly at Jaebum, in a way that looked like there was an apologetic appearance on her face. "I hope you find him. Who knows, maybe you'll find it before I find mine."

And with that she abruptly arose in a brisk walk not towards the emergency vehicle, but in a path more directed to the hospital, leaving Jaebum behind confused and lost, more than he ever was.

Strange.

~

"Hello?"

Nothing was said from the caller end, just the faintest sound of breathing that could be easily missed.

"Hello? Is anyone there? No offence, but I can kinda hear you breathing."

Jaebum swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. He hadn't opened a bottle yet, somehow the urge to do so missing.

"J-jackson?" He croaked out, wincing at his voice.

The energy ball on the other end stilled. "H-hyung?" Jackson's voice was small, almost fragile. Jaebum never called, never initiated contact, and while it hurt all of them, the others were left helpless, not knowing what to do to help their friend.

"Hi," This was more awkward than he had expected. "How's it going?"

"Good, good. We're always on cases, and it's great," Jackson's smile could be seen by the tone of his words. "What about you Jaebum hyung? The kids treating you well?"

Jaebum snorted, rolling his eyes at Jackson's banter. "Yes, yes."

"Oh, you're still able to walk right? I heard that problems arise in moving when people age and since you're a gr—"

"For the last time I'm not a grandpa."

"No but you always would buy me things so you're a daddy," Jackson retorted teasingly. "Oh, and here's grandpa number two."

Static buzzed through the phones as the receiver changed. Suddenly, a tired voice replaced the bubbly Jackson.

"Jaebum?" Mark spoke. "Everything alright?"

Jaebum wasn't so sure.

 _Everything happens for a reason_.

Yes, yes, he's heard that enough, even if there was no reason for their to be besides blame on Kwon.

_I hope you find him._

Impossible.

_Who knows, maybe you'll find it before I find mine._

Find what? What was there to find? Youngjae?

"Jaebum?" Mark's worry struck the leader out of his daze.

"Hyung, if you were to look for something you haven't looked for in years, where would you start?"

Mark paused, a frown on his face as he tried to decode the question. "I would start... where I last... saw it?"

Jaebum held his face in hands. It wasn't really the answer he was looking for, but like, it was Mark, and it was them. How deep could they get?

"Geez, ok, thanks then," Jaebum forced out, still trying to tie a few loose ends for himself, reorganizing what had happened, what was happening, and what was going to happen. "I'll see you all later then."

"Jaebum," The oldest warned. "Don't act rashly."

"I would never," Jaebum replied, finally the need to drink returning. And with that, the phone call ended.

~

Evening fell into night.

Jaebum was lying back in his bed, his first bottle still more than half full in his hand as he gazed out through his open window, at the foggy sky, where practically no stars were shining, and the few that were, all seemed to be dying.

Vaguely, as Jaebum squinted, he could see the tail of light of a moving speck in the sky, as it trailed downhill. He leaned forward in an attempt to get a better view.

_Stars fall. And maybe one day that shooting star will fall to you._

Jaebum threw his head back, taking in a large swig of his drink that had once been cold, but then was adjusted to the room temperature.

_Who knows, maybe you'll find it before I find mine._

Maybe, Jaebum agreed, leaning back as he set the unfinished bottle down, welcoming the sweet sleep to overtake him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Just maybe.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a note:a part of this chapter was inspired by a quote i found a while back by the author C. Joybell C. . unfortunately I have not read any of their works (i may if i ever get the time, the books seem like a nice relaxing read), but the quote was quite motivating for me and i kept it safe away saved. so here it is:
> 
> "A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside you blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done. But what's your is your. Whether it's up in the sky or here in you hands. And one day, it'll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won't have to put it back in the sky again."
> 
> it's quite lengthy, but it's definitely one of my favorite quotes :)


	4. 0:45

A small little girl, wearing a red floral dress with two large, curly pigtails swaying with her every step, skipped into Jaebum's classroom with large, bright smile on her face.

Jaebum, who was singing a little bit for the kids, looked up and smiled softly at her, nodding at her to take her seat.

She did so, in the very front of the classroom, hands up to her chin as she leaned over the desk, staring at Jaebum with a curious and admiring glint in her eyes.

Jaebum kept singing till the end, opening his eyes to the warm grins of his kids who were clapping as they always did whenever he'd finish singing a soft tune with his smooth voice.

"Alright class," The man waved his hand to signal the younger ones to calm down. "Now that I've done my part, I think you all should get to work. You're recitals are coming up soon, right?"

"Yes, sir!" They all cheered.

Jaebum leaned against his desk. "Go on now. Do some practicing. I'll be walking around to see if anyone needs help."

Quickly and excitedly the children dispersed, each child running to their respective instruments that they had learned that year, small notebooks in their hands where their notes were kept.

To summarize, the assignment was faily simple. All year, Jaebum had been instructing the children through small melodies, whether it be on the piano, through vocals, or guitar. In the end, they were to choose one of the songs and play that particular melody for their families and friends at the very end of the school year. Each performance was to be individual, and thus, different and thus, special.

Seeing the kids frolic around in glee, enjoying the music, Jaebum smiled, glad that at least they were living peacefully in the music.

Then, he suddenly felt a small tug at the end of the shirt, and upon peering down, he was met with the wide eyes of Soohyun, the little girl who had arrived to class late.

"Soohyun," He called out, kneeling down to meet her at eye level. "Do you need some help?"

The child shook her head furiously, pigtails bouncing back and forth. She was toying around with a thin, silver chain around her neck, her bright smile different than before, as it seemed more forced.

Jaebum frowned. What there something wrong? Soohyun was probably the most musically gifted out of the whole class. If there was anyone guaranteed to follow the musical path, he'd bet his all on her. So he doubted it was the task at hand that was bothering her. "Are you okay?"

Soohyun nodded shyly. "My father left this morning to fight in the army," she began and Jaebum stiffened, vaguely recalling the news of the many calls for more support. Apparently situations were tense to the point where reinforcements were needed. "I don't think he'll be able to come to the recital."

Seeing the broken state, the teacher was just about to comfort the girl before she spoke up, staring at him in the eyes. "He gave me this chain. He said that if he wasn't there, he would still be there and told me to remember the chain if I didn't see him." She pointed at Jaebum's small guardian charm. "Do you remember someone when you sing?"

Jaebum froze, face pale.

What was he to say?

"Yes," He stuttered out. _I do._

"Who is it?" Soohyun inquired more, pushing and pushing.

Why was everyone bent on asking him that?

Jaebum sighed. "Someone I care about very dearly."

Soohyun's sad eyes looked down, hand still clutching tightly onto her own keepsake.

"Is it hard?" Her wavering voice shot daggers through Jaebum's heart.

_Very._

Jaebum pulled the girl into a warm embrace, ruffling her hair reassuringly.

"You need to trust them no matter what or how hard. Do you trust your father?"

"Yes."

_Funny._

_Did he trust Youngjae?_

~

The bar had been dark and cold, despite it being daytime.

It had been full, packed, and crammed, despite it being the heart of the day where deadlines were met and packed at the last minute, workers finishing whatever they started so that they could leave within the next few hours.

It had been the time where kids laughed and roamed the streets, playing until their parents would have to storm outside and drag their offspring back into the shelter of their homes.

Strangely enough, Jaebum had been in a bar, getting an early head start to his nightly ritual, downing shot by shot, feeling the satisfying burn of the liquid as it trickled down his throat.

_"Is it hard?"_

Yes, yes it was hard. It was a treacherous road full of a trail of unpaved, sharp, jagged stones that loved to pierce at Jaebum's feet every time he would take a step.

Torture.

That's all it was.

~

_"The course of love never did run smooth"_

Jaebum stood over at the bay of the river under that forsaken bridge, sun setting in the distance.

He hadn't purposefully sign up for this. Whatever _this_ was.

As sipped more and more booze from his bottle, his mind entered a strange haze, one where the line between reality and the unknown was broken and unidentifiable.

_"Why me?" Youngjae continued to ask. "Out of all the people in the world, why me?!" He yelled at the water._

Jaebum shut his eyes tightly, the memory of where is all began, their birth as Youngjae's guardians suddenly plaguing his unstable mind.

_Feeling too sober despite his already wasted state, Youngjae popped the beer open, taking a large swig._

The older man followed the same actions.

_He drank the beverage like a pro, not waiting a bit while he gulped the entire bottle down._

_Doubling over, he fell, bracing himself on his hands and knees._

_His eyes watered. Whether it was due to the intense nausea he was feeling or his life in general, Youngjae couldn't figure it out._

_Groaning, Youngjae spilled his guts out in front of him, the misery diseasing his entire body._

Jaebum remained still and strong. Youngjae may not have been able to, but Jaebum was there for him. Where Youngjae couldn't help himself, Jaebum was there.

Always.

_Taking a glance in the water, Youngjae saw the shaking reflection of his worn out, dark face. There was no feeling in the expression. His eyes were dead._

_Youngjae had failed._

_Youngjae had failed himself._

No he hadn't. It was the other way around.

_Letting out a tiny sob, Youngjae lost his composure, tears rolling down his cold, red cheeks._

_"I'm sorry," He cried. "I'm sorry."_

"I'm sorry too," Jaebum whispered softly into the air. The old woman's words rang through his head and the ice guardian sighed. "I'm sorry for all I did was wait."

For after that tragic night, all Jaebum had done was wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, **_wait—_**

His eyes snapped to the ground next to him, where a piece of the bridge and the land of the Earth connected into one. Within the cracks and all around, Jaebum's blurry vision caught the faintest glimpse of what looked like a large collection or, well, bush, of white flowers.

He stepped, one by one, towards the blossoms with a burning curiosity.

Lilies, he acknowledged. The flowers were all lilies.

He spun around, a frown shadowing his already grim and fallen face.

The lilies were everywhere, spreading out until their branches of power weakened with distance, the gap widening, the frequency lowering.

The most densely packed area was one where the waves of the icy cold river and the bridge and the mushy, muddy dirt met.

Instinctively, Jaebum ventured over there, not entirely sure what he was looking for.

The sun was almost done setting, the moon peaking from behind the extended rays of the large star that over shone its beauty during the day.

Jaebum squinted, bottle of beer long forgotten as he focused more on _looking_ rather than _waiting._

The lunar shine reached far out to the scene below, the lilies now seeming to have a heavenly, unearthly, fluroecent glow to them.

The wind whistled around Jaebum, the petals of the flowers breaking apart and encircling the confused man before falling softly.

With awe, Jaebum basked within the familiar surge of energy, enraptured by the comfort that he had suddenly felt.

His eyes widened, realization hitting him like a large 18-wheeler truck.

This power...

_Power is corrupted._

Jaebum's heart raced.

No. Not this one.

This power was pure and innocent.

He'd know it anywhere.

For it could only be...

It could only be the power of **_that_** person.

His trail of sight traveled down and Jaebum gasped in astonishment, shock, and a whole mess of feelings.

The lilies had spread out, leaning over, away from the center, creating a ring around a certain object.

Jaebum reached for his own that hung around his neck.

In the middle of the bed of lilies, rested a silver, circular, wind guardian charm.

A sign.

It was a sign.

A tear or two rolled down Jaebum's cheeks.

He wasn't able to comprehend anything, such as how, why, and what was going on.

Yet, he collapsed to his knees, staring at the very charm that had once belonged to _Youngjae_.

The wind continued to blow gently, as if consoling the broken man.

It all screamed **_Youngjae._**

Jaebum reached out for the charm, a golden spark erupting when his skin met with the metal.

He missed this.

Oh, how dearly he missed it all.   
  
  


No more, Jaebum thought.

No more waiting. 


	5. 0:59

It was the night of.

It was the last night.

And strangely enough, that very night, not a single soul seemed to roam the streets. The only figure that trudged through the deserted alleyways was that that belonged to Im Jaebum.

Jaebum was shrouded with darkness as his shadow jumped ever so subtly from wall to wall.

Everything had been done, all steps carefully planned out, all traces erased or made invisible.

By the next morning, the 5 others boys would gather in front of the small grave that was falling apart. They would wait for Jaebum as they always did for the older since he was never able to wake up early enough on _that_ day, wishing internally that the past years had been one long dream. But it wasn't, and they all knew that.

Strange occurrences had happened to Jaebum over the course of the last few days, the ones specifically following the moment he had made his decision. A lot of which dealt with that woman and her words.

Unusually, her words replaced the ghost that haunted him, now instead of driving him into insanity, spinning the poor boy in a web of lunacy.

A frown masked on his face, the dark haired man walked with his gaze down at ground.

Abruptly, he stopped, eyes slowly lifting up to glance at the building to his left with utter hatred and loathe.

The RECORDz building stood strong and alive on its foundation, the dim lights illuminating through the dark windows, and vaguely, through the blinds, Jaebum could see the silhouettes of young trainees dancing and practicing with great vigor, in order to pursue their dreams and finally debut. Which the chances of itself were so small since very few were capable of accomplishing the feat.

No, Jaebum wasn't angry at the trainees or the business itself. He was enraged at the man who had been involved in it, the founder of the company that stood in front of him (and that was still to release an artist).

He was mad at Kwon for starting it all, for ruining it all, for causing the end of the one who Jaebum considered to be the most pure and innocent being on the planet.

Fists curling into themselves and jaw clenched, Jaebum gave one last distasteful look at the building before continuing along his journey.

Eventually, he came at the corner of the main road, where all the life of the city remained day by day.

It was the road where the café rested, in which In Hyung had given Youngjae his doll. It was the road where the mall was where Youngjae had found Mark's doll. It was the road at whose end, the park was where all seven of them had spent their time together in happiness, enjoying the moment for a brief time period before it all spiraled downhill again.

Jaebum glanced at the large clock that shone in the moonlight, reading the hands to be about 12:56 am.

The day had arrived.

It had been already rolling for a while already.

Cursing himself mentally, Jaebum made an effort to walk faster, only to halt when he caught the eyes of a strange creature in the displays of one of the shops.

A white figure stared right back at him, the long hair of the old animal drooping sadly along with its ears, its big, round, glossy orbs staring right at Jaebum.

Jaebum frowned, shaking his head in order to snap himself out it, whatever it was.

A bit unnerved, he walked even faster, finding refuge from the gaze of the creature in a small, worn alley way like street only for him to realize that it was the place where it had all began.

The music shop, that _he_  had adored, stood in the middle of the flurry of shops which actually seemed to have been renewed through various renovations and new and improved signs and layouts.

Only the music shop appeared to be dead.

For it was the only shop across which a large banner was hanging from one end, its corners ripped and twisted, letters faded out and water stains all around from the pouring rain of the years. The banner read CLOSED, and was imprinted with leasing information for a new businessman to see and decide to replace the empty space with some useless new franchise that had been getting around for a while.

Jaebum's heart sank. Not the music shop, he thought. It was the last thing left of _him_ , the last thing that was still reflective of _his_ persona, _his_ character, everything _him_ , and if the shop had closed dow—

Jaebum gulped.

If the shop had truly closed down, then it meant that _he_ was gone too.

"I already know," Jaebum wanted to scream. "I already know, stop reminding me!"

But he couldn't for time was running short and we—

Wasn't it 12:56 minutes ago?

Jaebum frowned in confusion as the digital characters on his phone screen turned into 12:57.

Jaebum wasn't that fast of a walker, was he?

Slapping himself out of the odd daze he was in, Jaebum scolded himself to get along with it, to stop cutting corners, to just finish it off once and for all.

He reached into his pocket, skin touching the cold metal that was cushioned by crushed lily petals and Jaebum was anchored into reality again.

He sprinted, large strides stretching across the land, his dash headed in one direction.

In no time, the bridge of misfortunes came into his line of sight and Jaebum sighed, slowing down, relieved for the solution of all his problems lay in front of him, merely feet away.

From where he was, Jaebum had the full view of the bridge, which was completely empty, as if it were prepared for his arrival.

Jaebum took in a deep breath, giving one last go over in his mind about nothing, anything, and everything.

There was no going back.

"What the," He whispered, suddenly squinting to see if he was seeing anything correctly.

Wasn't it night?

The moon was out in its full glory, and it could only give off white light as well in its limit. So then why was everything, orange? More of a brown, orange with a black and white tone.

Jaebum looked around him everywhere, the same color scheme following him everywhere and suddenly he felt as if he were thrown in an old school movie where everything was in some sort of sepia filter.

This wasn't right, Jaebum thought as he continued to rub his eyes and hitting himself to just wake up damit and see that everything was fine and normal, only to realize that nothing for him was fine or normal anymore and—

Enough was enough.

Frustrated, Jaebum took out his phone to check the time once again, now giving up on the original plan and deciding to end it all right then and there.

12:57 am, it read.

12:58 am, it suddenly changed.

Jaebum blinked, tapping his phone screen furiously as if it would do anything to fix time itself.

Something was wrong.

Something was terribly wrong, and Jaebum suddenly felt an intense uneasiness within his gut.

But then, the wind blew. It blew in such a familiar way that Jaebum was launched in an extreme sense of déjà vu.

Déjà vu of all the moments ever lived before.

Along with the wind, time seemed to react.

The more intense the wind, the more intense the reaction.

The numbers, the numbers suddenly changed as the gusts practically screamed in the silence, shaking everything up but Jaebum.

From 12:58 to 12:59 to suddenly 1:00 and a frenzy of numbers flashed on his phone screen.

Jaebum was overwhelmed as his brain desperately wracked to make sense of the situation but nothing was coming up.

And as quickly as it had begun, everything ended.

The wind froze, the deafening silence burdening Jaebum, the weight almost causing the man to fall for he was frankly too weak to deal with anything anymore.

The old style filter of the world still remained, but Jaebum gave it no mind as he was more focused on the phone that was held in his trembling hand.

The time.

The time read 1:30 am.

Just a minute, he thought, panic rushing through his veins. Just a minute left.

Throwing his phone to the ground, Jaebum was ready to sprint to the bridge and off it in that one minute.

But his body went rigid.

A heartbroken gasp or sob, whatever it was, escaped from behind his throat.

Jaebum fell to his knees, eyes watering, face frozen in shock. 

For the bridge wasn't vacant anymore.

 

 

 

And the person standing where he was supposed to be was the last person that Jaebum had expected to see.

 


	6. 00:00

 

Choi Youngjae stood on the edge of the bridge, chest rising up and down erratically as he breathed heavily.

As the moonlight fell so graciously upon the wind guardian's figure, Jaebum could feel his tears slowly trickle down, one by one, as he gazed at the angel ahead.

Youngjae was staring in front of himself, no movement in his body. Jaebum could only imagine what the younger was thinking.

Jaebum's feet moved forward, one after another, slowly, as he approached Youngjae at a snail's pace. Walking, he wasn't able to look anywhere but at Youngjae.

In no time, he could feel the misty gusts of the river flow right through him, shooting a shiver down his spine as he stopped right behind Youngjae.

Youngjae sighed, the sigh heavy with sadness. It weighed Jaebum down, making the leader feel helpless.

Moments passed by and Jaebum was still frozen before the scene in front of him, afraid that if he moved everything would disappear.

"Jinyoung hyung, Bammie, Gyeommie," Youngjae whispered, words rich with appreciation and love. "Thank you. Thank you for everything. I'm sorry for holding you back."

Jaebem keened, letting out a gasp, even more emotional as he heard the voice he hadn't heard in years, despite the grim reality of the good-bye statements.

_Who knows, maybe you'll find it before I find mine._

Jaebum had the chance to reach and pull Youngjae into his arms, to stop everything from happening, change the future as he knew.

_Everything happens for a reason. I'm still searching for my reason_

"J-" Youngjae shook his head. "Jaebum hyung." Youngjae's words were choked as Jaebum stared at the back of his head, not wanting to hear what came next.

Reality can be so bittersweet.

If Jaebum jumped right now to save Youngjae, what would change?

Kwon would still be at large, and no matter how hard they tried, Youngjae was still in contract. What could they have done? Reveal their identities as guardians, expose the supernatural to the world?

Humans were greedy, greedy little monsters, and if the truth would have been released, then who knows what chaos would have broken out. All the rush for them to capture that power as Kwon had done.

Jaebum shook his head. But Youngjae _died_ , and that wasn't right. He didn't want to care about the world. He needed to care for Youngjae, the poor, pure victim who hadn't deserved any of this.

And so he moved forward, fingers inches away from the crying boy's shoulder.

But then he paused.

"I'm sorry." Youngjae spoke softly.

If Jaebum did manage to change everything... If he managed to prevent the next few events...

Jaebum wanted to scream.

If he grabbed Youngjae right at that moment, then Youngjae would still be alive.

As a human.

And him, Jackson, and Mark would still be guardians.

And if they even managed to fix everything, make Youngjae as happy as he used to be, then it would all be over.

They would be separated again, and this time forever.

"Hyung, I _love_ you."

Youngjae's sweet words stabbed Jaebum in the heart, who was still holding back the scream that was itching to be released from the back of his throat.

_Who knows, maybe you'll find it before I find mine_ ****

He had. He had found it.

He had found Youngjae, due to whatever strange circumstances they were.

He had even found his reason.

And it wasn't what he was looking for.

Right at that moment, Youngjae swayed slightly, alerting Jaebum out of his thoughts.

The older man gulped, a cold sweat breaking out.

Whatever Jaebum did right then, would determine the fate of it all.

It was up to him to do the right thing.

But damn, the right thing was just so so so so so hard to do.

Jaebum couldn't.

He couldn't do it.

Jaebum couldn't preserve the balance of the world for he was an over emotional man who was wrapped around Youngjae's little finger, and he was ready to do anything for the boy.

Anything.

And so again, he reached out for Youngjae, time slowing down as his hand moved inch by inch towards the boy.

As his hand fell on Youngjae's shoulders, everything stopped.

Jaebum let out heavy, short breaths.

Suddenly, another hand crept up to meet with Jaebum's, pulling it down, and interlocking his fingers within its own.

Youngjae turned, a red, blotchy, teary face meeting his gaze. Regardless, Youngjae smiled, holding Jaebum's hands with both of his own.

"Hyung," Youngjae spoke, taking the first step and moving so that the distance between them was no more, noses almost touching ever so slightly.

"Youngjae," Jaebum's eyes searched Youngjae's face, judging whether it was real or not. "Are you—Are you—"

The smaller one shook his head, silencing Jaebum. He reached up to hold Jaebum's cheek, admiring Jaebum as if he was a precious, fragile artifact that would crack with even the smallest touch.

"Hyung," Youngjae said, eyes pleading. "Please, do the right thing. I know you can do it."

Jaebum's heart crumbled, falling to his gut.

"No, no, no, no..." Jaebum chanted the word over and over, trying to escape Youngjae's surprisingly strong hold.

"Please." The whisper was so gentle, that Jaebum melted in Youngjae's arms, holding the boy tight, as sobs wracked his body.

"I can't!" He exclaimed, his shouts resonating in the frozen silence. "I can't live without you again!"

Youngjae wanted to cry himself, but he remained strong, becoming Jaebum's rock.

"Jaebum hyung look at me," He demanded, smiling sadly when the broken man followed his command. "It's all going to be okay. You found me didn't you? You found me, and it'll all be okay. It's time for you to let go, hyung, please, let me go."

Jaebum's embrace tightened as he tried to let out protests.

"I know you can do it. I know it, because I _know_ you hyung. I _believe_ in you. Let me go, please. And maybe this time," Youngjae felt tears leaking out, and he hid his head in the crease in Jaebum's nape, where it fit perfectly, as if it were meant to be. "And maybe, this time I'll fall into your arms instead."

Both boys broken down in each other's arms, their cries disappearing in time.

"I love you Youngjae," Jaebum let out brokenly. He was going to do it.

Youngjae didn't want to move. "I love you too hyung. I love you so so much."

Time quickened, flashing, and in the blink of an eye, Jaebum was left hugging the air, and Youngjae was shrouded in nothing but gold, as he soared through the air, plummeting down to the water.

Jaebum's past figure yelled out, screaming and yelling in shock, hurt, and sorrow, running to the railing. 

Present Jaebum watched the scene in horror. 

He couldn't live without Youngjae anymore. 

Right before real Jaebum could step forward, off of the ledge, to join his lover, the world flashed white before turning black, a sense of falling rushing through Jaebum.

But the man woke up with a start, sitting up, breathing heavily, entangled in his blankets.

He wanted to scream.

Nothing had changed.

Youngjae was still dead.

Jaebum was still alive.

 

 

"Hyung?"

 


	7. timer reset

"Hyung, what the hell are you doing?" Youngjae's sleepy voice said, as the small arms encircled themselves around Jaebum's waist in an attempt to drag the older down back to their bed. Jaebum complied, his breath stopping when he felt Youngjae curl into him, fitting perfectly, smaller hands resting against his chest as he got comfortable. "Go back to sleep."

This wasn't real.

"Youngjae? Where are we?" Jaebum asked in a small tone.

The other frowned with a pout. "Our flat, why?"

"Our flat? We have a flat?"

Youngjae leaned on his elbow, throwing a glance back. "It's like 1:32 in the morning, you need sleep."

"B-but were—"

Youngjae jumped forward, capturing Jaebum's lips in a soft kiss. Jaebum couldn't help himself but melt into the kiss, hands traveling to hold Youngjae, who had managed to climb onto Jaebum's lap, arms draped around the older's neck.

The duo remained in their intimacy for what seemed like hours, each drinking in the essence of the other. When they broke apart, hair disheveled cheeks cheery red, lips plump and wet, their eyes wore a look of drunkenness, and as alcoholics of one another, they dove in once again.

"Go to sleep," Youngjae ordered, pushing Jaebum down into the mattress. "You can ask questions tomorrow in the morning."

Wasted, the whipped man nodded weakly, holding Youngjae on top of him. "Yea, yea. Goodnight Youngjae, love you."

Youngjae giggled, resting comfortably on Jaebum, pulling their covers over themselves. "Love you too."

~

A bark woke Jaebum up, the man startled as a small creature hopped on their bed, wagging its tail as it looked at him eagerly. Jaebum's eyes widened as he noticed that it was the same creature from the display.

The small, white dog ignored Jaebum and looked at Youngjae, licking the boy's face and barking until the sleeping boy woke up, a bright smile lighting up his features, as he squealed in delight, jumping off of Jaebum to pick up the dog.

"Coco!" He exclaimed in delight. Jaebum pouted, a slight pang in his chest. "Did you miss eomma?"

_Eomma?_

"Did Mark appa bring you in?" Youngjae asked excitedly. Holding Coco close, he ran to the door, throwing it open to reveal a blonde someone at the door.

 _Mark appa?_ Something strangely boiled within Jaebum. 

"Mark oppa!" Youngjae yelled with excitement, jumping onto the man in an attempt of a hug.

 _Oppa?_ Jaebum's glare bored into Mark, burning the man down.

Squeezing past the apparently mom and dad duo, Jackson rushed towards Jaebum, pouncing on the bed, a confused expression on his face.

"What is going on?" He whispered loudly.

Jaebum was fuming as Mark led Youngjae in, an arm wrapped around the boy's waist.

"I don't know, and I don't like it," He growled. Jackson gave the man a look over before groaning in frustration.

"Not that, you jealous man! I mean, What. Is. Going. On?"

Jaebum thought for a minute, realizing the question. "I have no idea, is this real?"

Jackson shrugged. "Probably. My memories are messed up. I remember all of before, but I also remember this alternate world as well. I don't know what to do, but Mark hyung seems to have accepted it."

"Alternate world?" Jaebum didn't remember waking up with new memories.

Jackson rubbed his temples. "One where you and Youngjae are a unit. Mark and I are a rapping unit, and others are still GOT."

"Youngjae and I?"

Jackson nodded, a smirk on his face. "You guys are a lovey-dovey unit, hyung. Your songs that you write are so whipped, everyone knows that you're a lovesick fool."

Jaebum suddenly pushed teasing boy off the bed, who in turn let out a screech. "Youngjae! Control your man!"

Youngjae looked up from where Mark and him were playing with Coco, only to roll his eyes at Jackson. He turned around, smiling playfully at Mark as Jackson jumped up, ready to fight.

"Youngjae! Jaebum just threw me to the floor!" Jaebum was about to protest, but Youngjae beat him to it.

"So?" The younger singer retorted with indifference.

Mark silently walked around to join Jaebum.

"Here they go again," He said, looking over the scene with such fondness.

Jaebum glared at the older. "Oppa?"

Mark laughed, patting Jaebum's back. "This goes long before you asked him out, when he got Coco. Don't worry. You'll remember soon enough."

Sighing, Jaebum looked back at where Jackson and Youngjae were bickering as usual.

"Yea," He said. "I hope so."

~

They were out on a date, at the old café where In Hyung had given Youngjae his doll, and strangely, Jaebum was at a slight awe at the fact that everything was interconnected.

As they made their order, Jaebum caught a glimpse of someone out the large window, someone quite familiar.

He leaned into Youngjae, whispering into his ear. "I'll be back, you take a seat and wait for me."

Youngjae read Jaebum before nodding, watching his partner dash out to catch that certain person.

She was waiting outside of the shop, smiling when she saw Jaebum. The old lady signaled for him to follow her as she led him into the nearby alley, a private place where they could talk.

"I'm sorry," She began, confusing Jaebum.

"For what?"

She breathed out a short laugh. "For putting everyone through all of this. I told you, I tend to ignore those I love. But, you seemed to have found everything before I could, and I'm sorry you had to do it all on your own."

Shaking his head, Jaebum's confusion deepened. "What are you talking about? I was here to thank you for your advice."

Her eyes crinkled as she beamed at the boy. "That was me talking, yes. Well, don't thank me, thank the Universe."

Leaning against the wall, Jaebum seemed disappointed. "I gave up on the Universe long ago."

"I'm sorry," The old lady let out, eyes watering. "I'm sorry for letting you down."

"Why are you—" Jaebum's gaze snapped to the lady as a realization dawned upon him. "Y-you."

"Me," The lady admitted sadly. "My realm is so big I can't focus everywhere at once."

Jaebum had heard of the so-called Universe being a person, the rules that they had been integrated with being written by this one person. He had never believed in this being, let out thought that he would ever meet them.

But there she was, in front of him.

This old lady was the Universe, the force that drove everything to go round.

"Thank you," He let out, rushing forward to hug the woman. "Thank you for fixing it in the end. That's all that matters."

This was it. The confirmation that everything was real.

"But wait, what is this world?" Jaebum inquired, stepping back.

The Universe shrugged. "From what I can tell, it's the reality that Youngjae created for himself when his soul was drifting in and out of dimensions, waiting."

"Then how come I'm the only one that doesn't remember?"

"Your soul and energy were the ones that were traumatically affected by everything the most. With time, you'll merge into this world with memories of it all," She explained, giving Jaebum a small reassuring pat.

"And Kwon?"

"He doesn't exist. His energy is under punishment," She stated proudly. In turn, Jaebum smiled, relieved.

"And Youngjae?"

Her face fell immediately. "He probably remembers everything the most out of all of you. Take care of him, please."

Jaebum nodded, remembering the tear stricken face of the lad from the strange events before. Tears didn't belong on Youngjae's face. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on letting go again. He's safe with me."

~

All seven of them sat in a circle in the living room of Jaebum and Youngjae's flat.

While there was a blanket of confusion in the air, it wasn't uncomfortable, as they were relieved and rejoiced at their reunion.

It was the first one in five years that all seven of them were together.

"We have some news!" Yugyeom declared cheerfully.

Jinyoung pinched the boy in an attempt to reel his child in before the sugar high took over. "Yes, well, the company has decided that our dynamic is perfectly close for something big."

Bambam scoffed. "I still think that the name could be better."

Yugyeom shoved his friend. "Shut up! GOT7 is going to be big!"

"Yea but DAB7 sounds better!"

Jinyoung scowled. "Please, stop with the dabs."

"GOT7?" Youngjae asked, breaking the trio from their argument. "As is, us 7 in GOT7?"

Jinyoung nodded.

Jackson shrieked, leaning over to high five Youngjae. "We're going to be a group!" They cheered, jumping in their seats.

"So are you in?" Yugyeom's question was more directed towards the two oldest members, who hadn't said anything by that point.

"Are you really asking that?" Mark replied happily, looking over around at his 6 best friends.

"Well then its official then," Jaebum announced, sharing a look with Jinyoung. "GOT7 is officially a thing, as of today, January 14."

Cheers erupted throughout the flat, everyone running around in excitement and merriment.

Everything perfect for once. 

And eventually, after turning the flat inside and out, all seven of them had settled on the balcony, beers in their hands, everyone resting either against the railing or on the recliners.

Youngjae leaned against Jaebum, who had an arm draped over the boy, as the both of them shared a chair.

"See hyung," Youngjae hiccupped, slightly intoxicated. "Everything turned out just fine."

Jaebum hummed, threading his fingers through Youngjae's soft, brown locks, sipping his beer happily.

"Thank you," Youngjae's eyes were flitting close, sleep overtaking the tired angel. "Thank you for finding me."

Jaebum smiled softly, looking lovingly at Youngjae. He bent down to press a kiss against the boy's temple, in a way to return the feeling, silently giving his thanks to the younger boy for waiting and loving him.

Youngjae tipped his head back to catch Jaebum's lips in a peck.

"I love you," He sleepily professed, snuggling into the bigger Jaebum.

Jaebum beamed, knowing that he will always feel giddy whenever his lover will speaks those sacred three words. "I love you too Youngjae. More than anything in the whole world."

Under the moonlight, their charms around their necks glinted, a shimmer of gold rushing from the chain to the circles that hunug from the silver chains.

As the stars twinkled, the necklaces twinkled as well, their symbols merging in a golden light, both resembling a snowflake lost in the wind.

 

 

 

All that waiting had paid off.

Jaebum had finally found Youngjae.

Nothing would come in between them again. 

Justice was finally served. 

 

 

 

 

 

In the end, two lost souls were reunited at last in a love so bright and beautiful that it was simply meant to be.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end 
> 
> :)))


End file.
